I've been there twice.
& Both times I had to wait there quite long.

With beer it's all about papers. Everything's got to be filled in. Nothing should be forgotten.
Customs, you see.

So, while waiting I watched their display.
I saw a picture with all employers dressed up in the same T.

Is it possible to get such a T, I asked.

So the girl who had to fill in the papers started searching for it.
That lasted 15 minutes at least.

They're never in a hurry, at Weyermann.



Actually, the box of the flat-iron says: Fast-Iron.

I got it for my birthday. Ages ago.
I did get 2 flat-irons at that same birthday. An antique one, and this here.

It hasn't been out of the box for at least 10 years, I think.
O well, maybe when my mother was helping me to settle in my new home. This one here I live in now.

All these things I should throw away. I never use them. Never look at them. The only thing they do is standing still, being decorative.

I'll keep the T. Although it's slightly damaged in the neck.
It was one of the 1st. Got it from the brewer. It'll never leave me again.

black sheep

Black Sheep

It got some dirty spots on it.
And the illustration has faded. The text also.

It was like that when I bought it (except for the spots). I didn't see it. It was sealed in plastic. The vagueness of the text could be the plastic reflecting some light, I remember.

The lady who sold it to me kinda liked me.
It was at the GBBF. Great British Beer Festival.
We were both staff.
She gave me discount.

That doesn't make the T alright though.



Yesterday I changed T-shirts. Caracole's logo was sticking to my chest, thanks to the heat.

I was glad I took some T's with me to work. I'd planned to photograph them somewhere in the building.

Now I really had to.

All the locations in the cellar of my work are a bit dusty. & Each time I wasn't satisfied with the result I had to move the T.

So I was about to change shirts for the 2nd time that day.

A bit of fluttering & I was glad I could wear it again.

It's a beautiful location, but lots of things have happened there.

tetralogy on colour 4

Tetralogy on Colour 4

I said: it amazes me that the photographs I take are reasonably good.

Not that they are really beautiful, I continued, but I can see that they are alright.

I never took pictures, you know.
Well, with this cellphone I did occasionally. Not more than that.

During a short holliday in Bamberg-region I photographed all the mugs I was served a beer with. Told a story about it on my blog.

This is the same, though slightly different.
I do like the quality of most of the pictures, you see.

Nobody was listening to me anymore.

One shouldn't praise oneself.

tetralogy on colour 3

Tetralogy on Colour 3

As if I'm inviting them by showing them T's that are referring to their existence.

One snail entered my kitchen yesterday evening. It already had arrived in the sink, when I turned on the light in the kitchen to find myself a beer.
I moved my hand unconsciously of its presence a few centimeters past it, reaching for the cap, which had missed its supposed destination.

I hesitated. Didn't know what to do. Stood there with disgust.
A snail in my sink!

I found myself a sort of a tool. So I could pick it up & throw it back into the garden.

Next time I kill'm.
Hate it.

Now I totally forgot to tell about the T itself.

tetralogy on colour 2

Tetralogy on Colour 2

Shirts with just a logo are not very interesting. They're not exciting enough.

The colour may be nice, but you want something more from a T than the colour alone.

It's too neutral. One evaporates in all the public on the streets.
Breweries should know that.
They don't want their beers to drown in the flood of alcoholic beverages that's available on the market.

I'm glad the background of my fence is making it interesting again.

tetralogy on colour 1

Tetralogy on Colour 1

Initially I wanted to call this a Quadrology. But the word doesn't seem to exist.

Then I wanted to dedicate it to Bob & Mary. They are my biggest T-suppliers.

Each year they come flying from their hometown, close to Seattle, to Amsterdam. They leave me with lots of bottles of beer.
I drink them. But forget them too.
Hm, that's the disadventage of tasting, I think.

At home, at their Cask Ale Club, they collect T's. So they can leave them also at mine.
I can't forget those, because I wear them all year around.

Bob & Mary love the Quad. They have several 'years' standing in their beercellar. To let it mature.

The Quad, that means La Trappe Quadrupel. I love that word.

Here's a Quadrology, although it doesn't exist.



They keep on asking me how many T's I have.
Oh, more than 300, I answer.

I'm not gonna do all of them, I explain to people who want to know. I don't want to wear the T's of beers I don't like.
Or T's I don't like.
& Even that not always.

So I counted them.

Today is my 1-month anniversary.
3 Months to go.

kent 2005

Kent 2005

This might be the ugliest T from that festival.
O no, there is one even worse than this. I probably won't show that one. I don't want to wear it.

I came to realize that, apart from the places I lived in, Canterbury is the city I know best.
I walked a lot overthere. When I didn't have to be at the festival selling beer, I wandered around in the town & it's surroundings.

I know for instance where in the city-centre one can find all the public toilets.
1 Festival edition I suffered from diarrhoea, you see.



I remembered vaguely the way. Although last time we got a bit lost.
But then we went up the hill. I didn't plan to do that by bike. To steep.

It would be my 1st beer during holiday.
Well, I got 1 at the Fest in front of the church when I arrived. Got treated by the people I rented the appartment of.
I didn't dare to tell them I didn't like the beer too much.

So I sat down. Stood up (nobody was coming). Went to the bar. Asked stupid questions.
Stupid, because I wasn't able to speak decent German yet.

But I ended up with everything I wanted, everything I needed to give my holiday a start.



At days like this I better choose between too big, too small, too ugly or damaged.
At least for the coming 3 hours I won't go out. It might be better to stay inside the whole day.

Strangely enough I do have good memories of days like this during holidays as a kid. I loved the sound of the rain on my tent. It felt safe. & I could read lots of books (instead of making long walks with my dad).

I decided to do too big. Maybe this is a 1-time opportunity for one of my most beautiful T's.



It was the day after Easter. We had to go back.
But 1st we had to collect some beer.

After filling up the van with crates & kegs & handing over empties I asked for T's.
I couldn't resist.

It resulted in a free T from Hummel, a stein from Schlenkerla (4 beers for on the way), a crate of beer from Beck (not the big one) & at Mahr's I got the T for ½-price.

We drove back home.
I drank beer. I believe 5 of the free beers.
It was the day after Easter, I suddenly realized. The 100th day of the year. The 10th of April.
My birthday.

They had given me presents, while we all didn't know.



It was my 1st full day in Oberfrankenland. Totally on my own, but my nervousness was finally gone.

Not that I felt selfassured.
To find the brewery, clearly marked in my guide, it took me 5 minutes. Riding up & down the hill the village was built on.
I didn't look too good.

& Entering the Gaststätte, I didn't want to make any mistake while ordering a beer.
Of course that resulted in several of them.

I asked whether they had a T-shirt of their brewery.
Well, they did.
I smiled.
Kann ich ein T-shirt bekommen? I asked.

The manager walked to the back, behind the kitchen & stayed away for more than 5 minutes.

I just kept on standing in front of the bar. Ocassionally smiling at the bartender.
She smiled back.
We said nothing. The only thing she did was rinse some clean glasses.
I took sips of my beer.



There are good weathershirts & bad weathershirts.
It depends on their colour.

That's why something like white-T-shirtday exists. In the heat of the sun I can't do anything else than wear a white T.

So on days like this I have to turn to a black T. Otherwise all the light coloured ones will be gone when I really need them.

Though I have to say I don't like black.
And I especially don't like to wear this one.
I do like the joke, but all the people will start staring at my T, wondering what's written on it.

Don't stare at my tits, I'll say to them.



I still think the other T was better. But I have to do it with this one.

I met the brewer twice. Had to ask for the T (the nicer one) in French.
My English is very mal, he said.
Je vends votre bière, I said. Je veux votre T-shirt aussi.

Oui, oui, oui.

& For the rest of the beerfestival we said nothing to each other.
A smile & that was it.

Smiles can look totally different in other languages.



We had been cycling around for quite a long time. Visited some caves in the middle of the day. Drank beer.
& Were planning to drink some more.

But it's hard to cycle in hot wheather only for the cause to find better beer than you would drink if you didn't take the effort.

But it was heaven, overthere in Unterzaunsbach.
& Although we had to wait 10 minutes before we had our beers, it was still worth it.

So we waited another 15 minutes for a 2nd mug of this deliciousness.

Then we left. To cycle back to our appartment, 20 km further away in the heat of that day.

& At the last moment of standing in front of the brewery I saw this T hanging in an inconspicuous display.

So I waited another 20 minutes for my turn.

roi des buveurs

Roi des Buveurs

I won't ever do that.

I used to know a guy who possibly could do it. He never lost when somebody challenged him to empty a glass of beer faster than he could.

No, I won't ever do it.
I speed up drinking when it's already too late.

Strange, that is. Most people have it the other way around, I think.

Translation: 'Here lies the King of the drinkers.'



I had to change T-shirts. It was to warm to leave the other one on. The illustrations on back- & frontside both sticked to my skin.

I do feel sweaty already with this weather. I shouldn't make it worse.

People keep on making remarks about the drops they see on my head. In this season each working day somebody has to say that my head looks wet.

After all those years I still don't have the right joke to silence them.



The strange thing about taking all these pictures is that everything becomes a mess.
Nothing is as organized as I thought it was.

Its a bit like the T's themselves: you think you folded them nice & tidy, but when you take one out of the wardrobe it suddenly looks crumpled.

It's like big waves, hidden underneath the surface, until it arrives at a shore.

I probably forgot to look. I only saw.

lazy boy

Lazy Boy

It's already standing there for 3 days now. The big box, that is. The other one since yesterday.
But I know that it's gonna last a few more days before I'm willing to remove it.

There are so many important things to do, you see.
1 Of them is this.

People tend to think that I can't sit still. But deep inside I'm that guy.
I just don't raise a belly.



Once, right after my guided tour through the brewery, a man came to me. He said I had done a good tour. & He knew, he continued, because he was working in a brewery.

He gave me his card.
Hey, I do have a T-shirt of that brewery, I said. I recognised the picture on his card immediately.
I work there, 2 or 3 days a week, the man told me. I work at the bottling line. But actually I'm an actor.

The man was way over 60. & He was filling bottles, instead of acting.

Yeah, the man continued, the owners are friends of mine. But it's also because I got to earn myself a living.

At home I found his name on the internet. He was an actor, a website said. But it didn't mention he was also fillling up bottles.



It might be another one. I do have several T's from this brewery.
But one I got from the owner himself. Standing a few meters from where this picture was taken. He gave me a few bottles of beer too.
It was his way of thanking me to get him in contact with a Dutch beerimport company.

Without any result. Still, 8 years later, the beers are not available in the Netherlands.
Except when customers are treating me on a beer from their hometown. Then it is, for 1 night, available for me.



Due to all the photographs I'm taking the world is slightly upset.
Things move to the wrong place. A chair on a table, a wooden beercrate on top of a heating, that same heating & also some tv-guides outside & a watercontainer upside down.

That's just what you get to see. I do see more.

The only thing I can do is put them in a picture, together with a certain T. Maybe it will give them the feeling they will live forever.

I know that feeling. I understand them.



'Campaign for Surreal Ale' it says.

Beershirt amidst the grapes. & Some fake plastic hopleaves.
That's what's surreal about it.

It hangs there. I keep on putting nails in the underside of my neighboors balcony. Tie the branches up with some short strings.

It keeps on growing. I can't take my eyes off of it. Although I know that the more I look the less I can see of the growthprocess.



'...at the O.K. Corral'
When that title pops up in my mind, it won't leave. It keeps repeating itself.
It's the rhythm, I guess.

But some days ago it sure was a gunfight right there.
Well, a fight.
And I was the only one who carried a weapon.
It was a massacre.
A slaughter of snails & slugs.

I hate them. & It's about time they realize they should hate me too.



It was a bit windy this morning. Not to warm either. I needed a longsleeve for underneath my shortsleeve.

Once my favourite: Winderful Brewery. I loved the colour. It's easy to combine with other T's.

But suddenly it started to smell.
As soon as I wore it 1 time, there came a hint of sweat in it.
Nobody else could smell it, but I did.
So I always wear it 1 time, not longer than just a few hours.

You're warned when you see me with blue arms.

circle master

Circle Master

The painting on the T indicates that in English a circle master should be the same as a scarecrow.
Well, then I'm a circle master myself, I guess, chasing cats, using my plant spray.
They don't belong here. This is mine, my circle. It should smell like plants, not piss.

Hops underneath the master & also behind him. You just got to look carefully.

drinking - reading

Drinking - Reading

'When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.'
Henny Youngman

But I can assure you: I will never give up reading.

I always have a book with me. Even when I go to the toilet (that's through the door behind the T, left door in the corridor).

I just plan to read a book when I go to my favourite bar, together with a ½ ltr german beer. Very often a 2nd one = 10 extra pages.

I read. I am in books. Especially when I drink.
My world is there.



This is where I live.
Or: where I used to live.

I remember 1 summer, I had to be there 7 days a week.
It was the summer Margriet was my girlfriend.
For the rest nobody was there. Just Margriet, the shop & selling beer.

I was wondering, this afternoon, wether it was normal, for me, standing where I stood. Behind the counter, master of the register.

And then it started raining, this afternoon, just when I finished work.
I had to change T-shirts. Long- instead of shortsleeves.
But 1st I had to show people who I was, where I was, who I used to be in a former place where I still was standing.

When I stopped, this picture was taken, everything was dry again.

It's like Murnau, the director. But shadows are yellow nowadays.
It's still threatening though.



He's gonna phone me, soon.
He'll ask whether I want to join him again. Standing in a barn, 3 days, 1 extra for lifting up our foreign beer stand, selling ales to a mainly in lagers interested crowd.
And I'll be sleeping in the Hilton, which is a brick of containers, having English breakfast in The Sportmens Cafe. And during daytime I'll be walking in the surroundings of Canterbury at bridle roads I already know from the years before.
Each day I'll be looking at the T's T-shirt-man is selling, at moments he's not watching. To finally decide that there is just 1, just 1! T-shirt I want to take with me home.

But I'm afraid I'm gonna say I won't be going to Canterbury this year.



I didn't get my 2nd day T-shirt, nor my 3rd day's, because I didn't wear the 1st one.
I want all the staff to wear the T, she said. It was a big effort to let the brewery pay for it. They want something back for their money.

I don't want to look like everyone else.

At the end of the festival I got the spare T's.

blind dog

Blind dog

She said: You got a blind dog.
I looked around & didn't see what she meant. I even looked behind me. What were her eyes pointing at?
Yep, a blind dog, she repeated. It doesn't have eyes, just holes.
She smiled.

She made the joke each time I wore the T-shirt.
& Each time I started defending my favourite T, although I knew she was just kidding.

O, I loved that smile.



Today is White-T-shirt-day.
But before it's gonna start I walk around in close to nothing. It's hot!
The doors are closed. To keep the heat outside.
I stay here as long as possible, waiting for White-T-shirt-day to start. But it doesn't have to.

T's Backside:



They were looking for a name for their new beer.
Hmpf, this one tasted good!
But although they drank a lot of it, the beer didn't supply its name.
Just before sleeping one said: Yaarrggh!
They barely could remember it next morning.

When people are looking with staring eyes at what my T is saying, I say it out loud, with big CAPITALS.
Sometimes somebody screams.



I guess I can say I do collect some things.

Life is a museum, isn't it?
You just have to open it up. When nobody is seeing something it won't exist.

head shirt

Head Shirt

Some things you're just not aware of that you're doing them. Some things have more meaning than you thought in the 1st place.

I didn't realize his head was right there where it should be.

I didn't realize I got this T at my 43rd birthday, the 1st birthday I got older than him. The moment I would be older, forever, than my 1 year older brother.

& When I got this T, I didn't realize it was my birthday.
It was the 1st birthday, as far as I can remember, I didn't celebrate with others. Not even with myself.

Still I got this T that day as a present.

unfolded shirt

Unfolded Shirt

When I sell a shirt at the place I work I sometimes make the joke that the customer better let me fold it. My mother taught me how to...

This one has been laying in my wardrobe for years.
It's also been some time ago I told my joke. But what's a joke worth when you know it's truth.

explore the unknown

Explore the Unknown

Nothing has changed. Everything the same. Except for the chair that I've turned 90°.
Men should keep the things as they are.
I don't believe in exploring the unknown. Doesn't work for me.

This is T's backside.

dead shirt

Dead Shirt

The girl who gave me this T died last week. They had a memorial for her in a town close to Seattle while we dutch were looking soccer.
She told me back then that she helped decorate the Hales Brewery.
I decorated her shirt.

In memory all shirts keep on belonging to the people who once gave them.

Backside: "Think Globally, Drink Locally!"

t-shirts on stock

T-shirts on stock

They go from 1 armchair to the other armchair. Some I wear, others I don't. But they all go the same way.
Untill one armchair is empty.

I start anew. The other way around.

clean shirts

Clean Shirts

I can count the days I didn't do any washing.